Girl Friday: Jenny Mollen Biggs

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Photography by: Adam Hendershott

[blockquote] Actress, Writer, and schadenfreude connoisseur, Jenny Mollen Biggs lives in a world that many of us only wish to visit someday: the world of imaginary things. Both reviled by conservatives and heralded by the Huffington Post, Jenny’s social media presence is unmistakably that of a post-modern provocateur, consistently delivering ironic self-reflective tweets and Instagram photos to instigate and amuse. In this newfound role as a spinner of tall tales, Jenny has written a standing column for Playboy’s The Smoking Jacket, aptly titled “What She Said,” and recently signed a book deal with St Martin’s Press for her collection of comedic essays entitled “I Like You Just The Way I Am.”
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What do you do? or rather what don’t you do?
I’d say I spend 60% of my days writing, 30% acting and 10% wondering what my dogs’ parents looked like.  Things I don’t do: Dishes, laundry, math, yoga, milkmen.

Having known you since we were both jailbait, you’ve always been an artist – an actress, a painter – did you always know that you would add writer to that list?
To be honest, I’m actually a terrible painter. I painted in my early twenties out of frustration with acting. I wasn’t fulfilled just servicing a story. I wanted to tell my own stories and visual art provided a medium to do so.  Painting was just the gateway to writing for me. It was the only way I knew how to tell a story at the time. I always wrote in my journal and did a one woman show while I was at UCLA, but never fancied myself a “writer” until much later on. Now I consider myself fucking Tolstoy.  (God, I hope your readers know I’m kidding)

I actually remember reading some new age Richard Bach novel years ago that basically said, ‘if you have a story to tell, it will haunt you until you put it on paper’ And I remember thinking, “Dear God, I hope that never happens to me.”

And guess what? It did. It does. And it is often just as annoying as I thought it might be.

Do you feel like you are one more than another?
Do I feel more like an actress than a writer? Hmm.

I am a more confident writer because I’m less jaded by it. I haven’t struggled in the same way and I’ve been rewarded faster. But my writing has made me a better actor because I now understand that what people are truly interested in. What you bring to the table that nobody else can replicate is your opinion.  For a long time I thought acting was about acting the best. I would get work doing that, showing the producers that I was a ‘good actress.’ Now, I try not to give a fuck and only focus on giving my opinions. It’s so much more fun to watch and infinitely more fun to execute. At the end of the day, I think I just like telling stories. Whether that means acting them out or writing them down. The best is when you get to do both.

Your family often makes cameo appearances in your work, how have they influenced you? Do they enjoy being in the spotlight?
Everyone in my life hates being in my stories besides Jason. Which is why he is absolutely perfect for me. My parents are both in denial. They think I make up the parental figures in all my stories. For the record: It’s 100% them.

How did your parents divorce affect you?
How did my parent’s divorce affect me? Is that not obvious? LOL.

I think more than their divorce, the thing that affected me the most was always coming second to any man in my mother’s life. The feelings of rejection by my mom created a very infantile need to be acknowledged and ‘seen’ by an infinite number of people. Or at least that’s what my therapist tells me. But it sounds pretty dead on, right?

You and your husband Jason Biggs, live your life online and in the spotlight – do you ever feel too exposed?  How do you deal with the haters?
I felt overexposed twice in my career. Once when the hooker story first came out and was all over the gossip sites. And the second time was when Michelle Malkin and Fox news came after Jason and I over tweets we made about the RNC. I would have tweeted about the DNC too but I was too busy having a D&C.

The haters can suck a 100-calorie pack of dicks as far as I’m concerned.

What inspires you to write, create?
I am inspired by how ridiculous life is.

The other day I was weeping to my couples’ therapist about how my life would fall apart if my dog died, while my dog was alive and well sitting on my lap, and my husband was seated next to me thinking, “Isn’t this session supposed to be about our marriage?”  Ridiculous right? I find things like that inspiring.

Tell us about Mr. Teets & your relationship with your four legged friend.
Mr. Teets is an 11 year old poodle genius. Before I met Jason, he was my reason for breathing air. He walked me down the aisle on my wedding day.  When I was recovering from anorexia, I ate for him. When I was depressed from being unemployed I got out of bed for him… An animal loves you unconditionally and I think every pet owner understands what I lack the eloquence to put into words. Also, his breath smells like a pussy trash can and I love it.

How does it feel to be married?
I love being married but it is hard work and it isn’t always fun. Like sometimes I wish I could throw Jason off our balcony, or drive over him with my car. But I adore him and I want to be married forever. Maybe I’ll just run over one of his legs.

[clearboth] You often joke about not having children and how you’ve dodged a bullet by not having kids. Do you still feel that way? Are you committed to not having kids?
I don’t really hate children. I hate moms. And my fear of becoming one is what has sort of held me up in that department. I think I will have children. And they will probably hate moms too and then I’ll be fucked.

What is your obsession with the macabre?
My obsession with the Macabre? I’ve just always tended towards darkness as opposed to light. I’m not interested in things that are pretty and perfect. I always prefer the truth and the truth is usually fucking dark. Am I cussing too much in this interview?

You speak French, German, and I suppose your native English. Why so many languages?
I LOVE LANGUAGES. I JUST LOVE THEM! I WISH I SPOKE MORE! I feel so powerful and better than other people knowing languages! AHHHHH! I LOVE THEM! My secret dream is to live in Germany with my family and for nobody to speak English ever.

Tell us about the column you write for The Smoking Jacket. Wholly autobiographical or fiction?
I write a column for Playboy’s The Smoking Jacket and it is basically about all the horrifying situations I get myself into.

[quote_left]I don’t know what was funnier, all of the truth or all of the lies.[/quote_left]A friend who my “I dressed up as your mom for Halloween” article was based on recently left a message on my voicemail that said: “I don’t know what was funnier, all of the truth or all of the lies.”

All of the stories are real. Sometimes dates and facts have been changed to both protect and incriminate when necessary.

[quote_right]Well, my therapist just told me yesterday that I’m not special. No one is… So I guess I’m kind of enjoying learning that.[/quote_right]

What can we expect from your new book, 
I Like You Just The Way I Am?
It’s still taking shape but my intention is to write a dark I LOVE LUCY-esque book filled with capers and bad decisions. In other words, you can basically expect my parents to stop talking to me.

What do you consider to be your hardest won 
or most treasured life lesson?
My hardest won life lesson: learning that the feeling of inadequacy doesn’t go away once you get what it is you think you want. It is a deeper issue that requires lots of money and lots of therapy.

Well, my therapist just told me yesterday that I’m not special. No one is… So I guess I’m kind of enjoying learning that.

What advice do you have for younger women who may be following in your footsteps?
My advice to all women everywhere is to be as honest about who you are and what you think as possible. Don’t hide yourself! Don’t censor yourself! And always carry a tampon.

How do you see your future?
My future. Well, I’ll probably eat healthy for the next few days while my husband is out of town, then binge out of control once he’s back and there’s good shit in the house again. I’ll also probably keep writing.

 

Girl Friday is a phrase more common to the 1940s and 50s, defined as “a female employee who has a wide range of duties,” and is most recognizable from the film His Girl Friday. Here at Move LifeStyle, we’re resurrecting its saucy vibe for the title of our last column of the week which profiles inspiring women in the workforce. If you like this series, click here for more Girl Friday Interviews.

Photography by: Adam Hendershott